Chapter 5. Remembering Scott

THURSDAY, 8:00 P.M.
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“This is one I took of them on a camping trip to…where was it, honey?” my mom asked my dad as she pointed out a blurry photo to Sean.
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“I think that was the year we went to that wildlife refuge over near Twinbrook.” my dad said.
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“We couldn’t afford a good camera back then, but we took so many pictures, anyway.  We thought it was a pretty good camera.” my mom said, smiling.
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She pointed at another picture.  Scott and me on a beach.
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“This one was the summer, just before he left for his first semester of college.  Florida–one of the beaches on the west coast.” my mom said.
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“This one is one of my favorites.” my mom said.
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“This one? Really?” I asked skeptically.
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“It was just so typical of him.  Such a goofball.  You two were always doing something silly.” my mom said wistfully.
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I stared at it and realized that she was right.  There was rarely a moment that Scott and I were together that we weren’t trying to make each other laugh.
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I missed him so much.
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“Hey, Dad…do you remember the time Scott tried to help me cut the tag out of my shirt, but he ended up cutting my hair instead?” I asked.
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“Yes.  We stopped keeping the scissors where you two could get to them after that.” my dad said, shaking his head.
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“That was far from the worst hair incident that ever happened in this family–one time, Scott convinced Eddie to help him bleach his hair….” my mom said, telling Sean about the hair fiasco that resulted in them finding me hovering over Scott’s half-shaved head with a pair of scissors and a disposable razor.  I’d been trying to shave his head after the bleaching went terribly, terribly wrong.
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“Scott was a fun-loving boy.  There was so little he took seriously.  It was something we argued about, on occasion, but I loved it about him, too.” my dad said.  “I really wonder what he’s like today, you know…if he’s still….”
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Everyone fell quiet for a moment.
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“Well, I hope we’ll be able to give you some answers, Mr. Prescott.” Sean said.  “Since we’re starting our research in Chestnut Park, do any of you remember anything about  his academic life that was going on just before he disappeared?”
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“Um…he decided to major in political science by the end of his first semester, so that wasn’t anything new.  He wanted to go into politics someday–he was on a pre-law track.  He mentioned something about trying out for an internship, but I never heard anything more about it.” my mom said.
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“Didn’t he say that he’d joined a club?  I can’t remember what club it was.” my dad said.
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“Was it a fraternity?” Sean asked.
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“No.  He wasn’t that interested in fraternities, even though I told him that membership in one would probably help if he did actually go into politics.” my dad said.
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“Did he talk about any professors, or new friends?  A girlfriend?” Sean asked.
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“I can’t recall anything like that–no new friends or girlfriend.  The one time he ever said anything about a girl was someone named….Avery, I think.  But he broke things off with her almost as soon as he mentioned her name.  They were never serious–Scott never was serious about any girl.” my mom said.
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“Never?” Sean asked.
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“He er…liked to play the field.  A lot.” she said, rolling her eyes.  He was the same in high school, and I got so sick of the phone ringing all night with all the girls calling him.  We broke down and bought him a cell phone, it was so bad.”
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Sean looked over at me, and I knew he was wondering why a ladies’ man like my brother would have an engagement ring.  I had no answer.
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We were taking the box of files my parents had collected from Scott’s apartment with us this weekend, and we already knew some details that would prove helpful–his schedule, his grades from his first semester in college.  From his bank statements we could compile a list of the places he regularly visited.
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After dessert (Mom had insisted that Sean come over for dinner since he was coming over to ask questions anyway), Sean stood by the entryway, looking at some of our family photos.
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“How old were you when were these taken?” he asked.
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“Fifteen.  Wait…sixteen, I think.” I said.
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“What a cutie.” he said, winking at me.
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“Scott hated these pictures–Mom made him brush his hair out of his eyes and he thought he looked like a dork.  He kinda did.” I said, then laughed.  Mom had brought all the pictures out of her bedroom into the living area, and she’d decided to keep the family pictures out, so they were up on the wall.  Usually she stored them away so people wouldn’t ask about Scott.
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“I should probably go home soon.  I need to look over those files and get stuff in order for our other task.” he said.  He still hadn’t told me about the mysterious second thing we’d be doing while we were making inquiries in Chestnut Park.  Every time I asked, he told me he’d give me the full story on Friday, in the car.
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“Yeah, I need to pack.” I said.
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“I thought before I left that maybe I’d take a walk out on the beach, though.  You want to come along?” he asked.
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My parents had crept up behind him, and when they heard his question, they were both nodding their heads in encouragement.
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“Uh…” I began, but I was interrupted.
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“What a lovely idea!  Of course she’ll go!” my mother said, practically pushing me out the door.  Apparently, I couldn’t be trusted with my own love life.
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We walked across the street in silence, not talking until we reached the beach.
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“I’m sorry that I had to ask those questions–I know it can’t be easy to think about him.” Sean said.
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“Actually, it was kinda nice remembering so much about him.  The good and the bad.”  I said.  Sharing him, I thought.
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“Well, I’m glad about that at least.”  Sean said.
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“I’m sorry about my mother.  She is worried about the status of my love life.” I said apologetically.
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Sean laughed softly.  “She’s not the only one.  Nick’s little visit yesterday wasn’t just about training–he wanted to quiz me about my intentions with regard to you.”
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“Oh?” I said.  I shouldn’t have been surprised that Nick had picked up on something.  “What did you tell him?” I asked in as nonchalant a tone as I could muster.  I was actually looking forward to hearing this, since I didn’t know the answer myself.
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“I told him it was none of his damn business.” Sean said.
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“But what would you have said, you know…if it were his business?” I asked.  It was definitely my business, right?
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He slowly came to a stop as my question registered, and he turned to face me.  He waited until I looked up and met his eyes.
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“I don’t just want sex.” he said.
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“Wow, that’s…..blunt.” I said.  My cheeks were burning and I couldn’t maintain eye contact anymore.
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“That’s what you wanted to know, right?” he said.
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“Well, yeah.” I admitted. “I have to…adjust my expectations.”
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“What did you think I wanted?” he asked.
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“I honestly didn’t know.” I said.  Sometimes it seemed like he just wanted to jump my bones….and other times like he wanted to be my friend.
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We were quiet for a while before he said, “Look, I care about you.  A lot.  I want to know things about you that can’t be discovered in a background check.  So here’s my first question: what do you want from me?”
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“I….I’m not sure.” I stammered.  Then I thought of something.  “Maybe patience.  I’m not sure I can give you all that you want.  But I want to try.”
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“I can be patient.  Maybe.” he said, smiling.  We stared at each other for several beats, and I knew that he wanted to kiss me.  But he was holding back, waiting.
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My first test.  I’d have to make this move, if I wanted it.
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I wanted it.  He made a quiet sound of surprise, but he didn’t deepen the kiss or  pull me to him.  Patience.
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“I’ll uh….walk you back.” he said, and his voice was deep with whatever I’d done to him when we’d kissed.
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“Thanks.” I said, my voice a little deeper too.  I laced my fingers through his and we walked back to my parents’ house.

• September 2, 2010
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• 42 Comments